It’s something I talk a lot about in my Imposter Experience trainings and workshops. I also love sharing stories with the group, as when we talk about this not only do we normalise it but it helps us learn from each others experience. There’s a great power in knowing this impacts other high achievers in similar ways.
My Imposterism always came about in my corporate career about my intellect as I got promoted up the ranks. I left school as early as I could and didn’t go to University. I wanted to get out into the real world, earn, travel and spread my wings. I’d sit around leadership tables next to those with multiple degrees and wonder if I belonged. “Who am I to question these people, what could I possibly have to add? I don’t even have a degree.”
It fed into my self doubt around my leadership role and what I brought to the table and would often result in me not asking questions or sharing ideas. When I left the corporate world it didn’t go away but changed. When I’d go on TV or release books ‘who are you to pose as an expert? What if they ask a question you don’t know the answer to? Who will read your book?’
Thankfully I learned the strategies to ensure these feelings of self-doubt when they arise don’t stop me doing it anyway. I’ve learned that it’s less about overcoming our imposter experience and more about learning to manage it. I often refer to it as a volume control not a switch that is either on or off and it comes and goes throughout our experiences often rearing its head when we’re out of our comfort zone.
Here are some of the top tips I use to offset my imposter experience, hopefully they help with yours too:
Own your super powers is an important message I’m often telling everyone else so it makes sense I also have to practice what I preach! This starts by knowing what we bring to the table and valuing it. Awareness of my strengths keeps me from beating myself up over my weaknesses.
Celebrating successes is not always something I’ve been good at or taken the time to do. Now it’s become part of my planning each week and month. Before I look forward I take a moment to look back. What’s gone well and why, what am I proud of? Sometimes I journal this, other times I simply reflect and bring these things to mind on a Friday afternoon as I wrap up the week. I also have an icon on my desktop that is a folder I store successes in. Feedback from clients, published articles or acclamation for my work. Each time I add to this I’m offsetting my negativity bias in my brain and also providing a place to go to on those off days – the evidence that I am as good as people think when my inner imposter is telling me otherwise.
I don’t have to know all the answers! As a human I will make mistakes and that’s ok, aslong as I learn from them and it helps improve me next time around. Infact that’s how I’ve learned most of the things I now put into practice to be successful and the result has been the same. My confidence has improved because I’ve proved myself competent, even by making mistakes and learning along the way. This confidence, competence loop is something I teach in my workshops.
Balance has been key too, when I find time for me to reflect, pause and gain the space to think I become more resilient and I also increase my awareness. This helps me notice and acknowledge more of the positives. Retraining my brain to notice more of the positives including my strengths and successes. This increased resilience also helps me feel more confident, bounce back from challenges and own my space.
It’s not as simple as doing this once though and being confident forever. It’s like training a muscle at the gym, it takes practice. Little and often is the key like building a muscle, we do the work until we’re strong even when we’re not at the gym, it doesn’t all happen in one personal training session!
There are many other strategies that I share in my workshops. What matters most is not whether we suffer from self-doubt as most of us do at some point, it’s whether we let it stop us. These strategies help us offset our imposter experience and succeed regardless.
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