I’ve made a big decision this month and it’s took some getting there. I’ve decided to finish early this year and take the whole of December off. It’s been an interesting decision, particularly watching the internal narrative and the challenges that have come up and made this hard.
Logically I work for myself and this is a slow time of year so it should be pretty straight forward and yet it’s not. “I should be working up until Christmas, everyone else is. What if my business suffers? What if someone wanted me for something and I let them down? What are people going to think? Does it look like I’m slacking off.”
Despite the fact that I work for myself I’ve been waiting for someone to give me permission to take such an extended break and put my health first. I’m the only one who can give that permission and right now it’s needed.
Many of you know I had knee surgery in July that I’m still recovering from and has impacted my ability to do my work (as many of you will have seen when I’ve been limping on and off stage or to and from your workshops!) What you don’t know is that during that surgery it become apparent that I might have a heart problem and a touch of long covid happening, tests are showing it might be more endocrine related but either way I need some rest!
It’s always amused me that when we get a diagnosis of some description we realise – god I’ve been so tried this year, that’s why! I’d thought it was just life! So often we put these feelings down to a normal side effect of life and running our own business. Yet it’s not normal and whilst it won’t always be a heart condition there’s often a reason why we don’t feel right.
So for all of these reasons I’m finishing early and taking some time off. It’s a great opportunity to practice what I preach and yet also a time to reflect on the normal barriers that come up when we consider doing something for our own health (even when we need to!)
So if you’re feeling guilty or waiting for permission to take time for you, know that it’s normal and do it anyway. You’ll have heard me talk about our one priority for right now, we’ll this is mine, my health, it has to be and it shouldn’t take a medical diagnosis for this to be the case right!
A massive thanks you to everyone I’ve worked with this year and all those who’ve been in touch to offer feedback and encouragement over the course of 2023. I love my work and I love that it gets to impact so many lives. For now I need to focus on impacting my own for a bit. Here’s hoping your summer break, when ever it begins is a restful one full of recharging and preparing for 2024.
You’ll see a few scheduled newsletters and posts from me over the next few weeks but rest assured I’ll be taking the time to rest and recover ready for 2024.